A 'Tag Yourself' Challenge to Kill You on Sight

Politicon, which bills itself as “the Unconventional Political Convention” but is really just cable news live, is somehow in its fifth year of existence. I had no idea there were that many walking, talking lanyards in this godforsaken country, but here we are: The lineup for the latest festival of the damned has been released and my god they’ve outdone themselves.

Feast your eyes on a “tag yourself” to end them all:

They got EVERYONE, including people who shouldn’t be allowed to show their face in polite society, let alone paid to appear at this gesture at a bipartisan love of “politics.”

JAMES COMEY! ANN COULTER! AL FRANKEN! SEAN HANNITY! JORDAN PETERSON! SHS! Put them all in a cage and let only one winner emerge, I say. Charlie Kirk v. Chris Cillizza v. David Frum (refereed by Clay Aiken) will be the second-tier brawl, obviously. Place your bets now!