How Donald Trump could kill your dating life


Nothing gets me in the mood quite like Donald Trump. Well, you know, in the mood for vomiting while punching myself to the rhythm of “God Bless America.” And it looks like I’m not alone. According to a survey conducted by dating site Zoosk, more than a fourth of women respondents would want to bolt if their date so much as mentioned Donald Trump’s presidential bid. Fair.

Zoosk asked 4,424 singles about what happens when they mix dating and politics.  Naturally, Donald Trump, the human incarnation of Emeril Lagasse’s “BAM!” schtick, came up. When asked, “If your date brings up Donald Trump’s campaign for president,” 17 percent of respondents chose the option of “running in the opposite direction.” Unfortunately, the survey did not define what that meant, so I suppose we’ll never know if they meant they would end the date early, ghost their date afterwards—or walk into a Foot Locker with their date, buy some Nikes, and literally Usain Bolt it out of there.

Young adults between 25 to 34 were 25 percent more likely than average to say they would run. And not at all surprisingly, women were twice as likely as men to say they would dash—13 percent of men said they’d flee, while 28 percent of women said the same. (Whether that means men are that much more willing to lower their standards to have sex is not for me to say. But this emoji may have an opinion:  .)

Meanwhile, five percent of all respondents admitted they would launch right into an argument if their date started talking about Trump, and the majority of respondents—77 percent—did say they would begin a “lengthy conversation” about Trump.

Of course, this is just one dating site sharing one extremely silly survey. But let’s be real. Bringing up Donald goddamn Trump on a date would be one helluva last-resort icebreaker, a black hole of a topic that indicates that not only do you have nothing else to talk about (weather would actually be MORE interesting!), but that your date has made such a meh impression on you that you must invoke a misogynist blowhard who has a penchant for racist remarks just to add spice to the conversation (again, BAM!). That, my friends, is desperation, and no date has to be that bad.

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