I Am This Moose

By Jack Crosbie  |  July 19, 2019 | 7:46pm
State News

Today and tomorrow and the day after that it is going to be very hot in NYC. So hot that the big mayor who is also running for president canceled a big music festival that John Kasich was invited to, for some reason. You can look it up it’s called OZY Fest. I applied for a press pass to it at the last minute because Stacey Abrams was also going to be there and I thought she might say something interesting and also because my girlfriend was going and that way we could go see Miguel on Sunday night, but that is not happening now because it is too hot.

To summarize how I feel about this development I posit this: I am this moose.

Yes, I know that this moose is purportedly “everyone in Eastern Canada” according to this tweet, which I guess doesn’t necessarily mean the moose is from Eastern Canada it could just be a video of a moose that Kelly Canuck posted to say that the moose was actually her, and everyone else in Eastern Canada, where it is also very hot but less hot than here. To which I say:

Same.

Here is a list of cooling centers in New York City. A nice thing you can do this weekend is to buy a cold water for a homeless person from a bodega or a cart, or just give them a dollar so they can get it themselves. Otherwise, everyone should be like that moose, who is me.

 
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