The Ten Likeliest Vice Presidents for Trump

Due to the unpredictability of Donald Trump and the chaos created by his potential Vice-Presidential sycophants, I need to get this column up before he randomly posts this news during one of his cable news rage-viewing sessions. The VP chase is in the news this week thanks to one collapsing clusterfuck of a candidate, and we are roughly two months away from the Republican convention. One would expect Trump to make his decision in the coming weeks.

We’ll list the ten candidates from least likely to most according to their odds on PredictIt, a site that allows people to bet on political outcomes and for Sean McElwee to completely overdo it and ruin his reputation. The price to buy a “yes they will be VP” share as of this writing is in parentheses.

10. Kristi Noem (3 cents)

If I had written this column before her “I murdered a puppy in cold blood” press tour, she probably would have been at the penultimate end of it. The chart on her share price looks like a shitcoin that just got rug-pulled. Despite this entire cringe tour, I still think she has value. She’s employing the “be batshit crazy then blame everyone for canceling you when they point that out” strategy that Trump and tons of other conservatives have rode into positions of power and influence. We know Trump is no fan of dogs, and despite all logical evidence to the contrary, Noem likely isn’t completely out of this. There’s value here.