Why do any of us have orgasms, really?
Welcome to Fairer Sex, a new biweekly column about the intersection of sex, gender, and the science of the human body.
One of the #blessed things about living in 2016 is that it’s no longer controversial to remark that a majority of women don’t regularly orgasm from intercourse alone. This reality has been so extensively confirmed that practically everyone—even academics desperate to re-establish “vaginal orgasm” supremacy—obliquely admits it’s true. But before we get too optimistic about living in a brave new world where the way cis women’s sex organs usually function is acknowledged instead of admonished or denied, there’s some unpleasant business to attend to: the sexist legacy of putting women’s orgasms on evolutionary trial.
This sad history of men scratching their heads and asking “What’s the point?” of women’s sexual climax is worth delving into, if only to purge the assumptions and inaccuracies left in its wake. Since previous inquiries were mainly predicated on our most simplistic, reductive, and—worst of all—scientifically unsound ideas about human sexuality, it’s time to revisit the question of why women orgasm.
The issue is usually presented like so: Male orgasms are “straightforward” and serve an obvious purpose. But female orgasms—what’s the deal with those? If they aren’t reliably sparked by a penis pumping away in the baby chute, why do they happen at all? This conundrum caused many academics and researchers extreme consternation throughout the later half of the 20th century, and the resulting orgasm angst yielded such an avalanche of dubious accounts that in 2005 Elisabeth A. Lloyd, a professor of biology and philosophy, dedicated an entire book to highlighting the collective failings.
The Case of the Female Orgasm is a glorious, devastating critique of bad science in general and sexist bad science especially. (Lloyd described her reaction when she first read the existing arguments as, “Wow! This is horrible science,” which pretty much sums it up.) These poorly constructed theories make claims about orgasm’s function as a facilitator of sperm competition, mate selection, and pair bonding, all of which may seem plausible but are ultimately unsubstantiated, devoid of evidence and rooted in unexamined presumptions. Lloyd catches scientists only considering the female orgasm as an event tied to intercourse and wrongly asserting its (unestablished) relationship to fertility—including but not limited to the idea that a woman’s orgasm “induces a sucking motion of the uterus.”
What these scientists are really saying is that pleasure motivates men to have sex. But which came first, the horniness or the orgasm?
Adaptations have to contribute to reproductive success in order to be considered such; a trait is not an adaptation if it doesn’t improve the likelihood of generating offspring, even if it’s otherwise useful. That doesn’t mean a characteristic has to directly pertain to sex—it could involve evading predators, for instance—but evolution academics have had trouble seeing past the act of intercourse as key to the female orgasm mystery. They know female orgasm is rarely brought about by penis-thrusting, yet don’t make the connection that, therefore, studying female orgasm solely within those parameters is a doomed endeavor. Since it mainly happens outside of penetrative sex, “explanations given for female orgasm only during intercourse [cannot address] the phenomenon they purport to explain,” Lloyd writes.
To free the conversation from its allegiance to penis-in-vagina sex, Lloyd’s ultimate suggestion is that, until contrary evidence surfaces, we assume female orgasms are the by-product of male orgasms, just as nipples on cis men are the by-product of their necessity in cis women. Though this angers feminists who worry the argument subordinates female pleasure to male pleasure, Lloyd’s proposal is merciful. Trying to prove that female orgasm serves a function in its own right requires far too many heteronormative and sexist intellectual contortions. And the origin of female orgasm should have no bearing on how we relate to the phenomenon. Believing otherwise is the result of “a false equation of what is important with what is naturally selected.”
Lloyd’s book nips a lot of bullshit in the bud, so to speak, which is why I so treasure it. There’s too much rampant misrepresentation of women’s sexualities and bodies when their orgasm is seen as urgently needing evolutionary justification. But if we loop back to the original framing—orgasm obviously makes sense in men, but not in women—the root of the larger problem is painfully apparent. What assumption underlies “obviously”? Is it a conflation of ejaculation and orgasm, which are separate biological experiences? (Truly, they are, which is why they can and do occur independently, as tantric sex practitioners are often so eager to tell.)
Or is it the notion that it behooves our species for men to be incentivized toward intercourse in a way women aren’t, which promotes the vision of a hellscape in which lust-mad men are always in the mood and disinclined women acquiesce for unclear reasons, or else are raped? Social implications aside, this option fatally ignores the fact that sexual pleasure as a phenomenon is not dependent upon orgasm. What these scientists are really saying is that pleasure motivates men to have sex. But sexual excitement is not synonymous with or contingent upon climax. Physical pleasure motivates plenty of women to have intercourse too, even if it doesn’t resolve in the big O. So which came first, the horniness or the orgasm?