Our Prayers Have Been Answered


The interminable slog that is the 2020 Democratic presidential primary just got a little less heartburn-inducing, with a new poll on Wednesday morning slamming the door on a number of Z-list candidates whoif they’d done slightly better—would have pushed the next primary debate into another two-night fiasco. Thankfully, the prospect of another double-header shitshow is now officially over, and America will only be subjected to a single evening of petty agonies.

According to a new Quinnipiac University poll out this week, both billionaire Tom Steyer and Hawaii Rep. Tulsi Gabbard—the two candidates most likely to have qualified—came in well below the two percent threshold required by the Democratic National Committee to participate in the upcoming primary debate by Wednesday’s deadline. That means the September 12 debate will feature just ten candidates, all debating in one night, multiple outlets reported.

Here’s who will take the stage in Houston in two weeks, per Axios:

  • Joe Biden
  • Pete Buttigieg
  • Kamala Harris
  • Bernie Sanders
  • Elizabeth Warren
  • Cory Booker
  • Beto O’Rourke
  • Amy Klobuchar
  • Julián Castro
  • Andrew Yang

Notable omissions also included internet favorite Marianne Williamson, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio, and Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, per the site.

The poll also showed multiple leading Democratic candidates trouncing President Trump in a hypothetical head-to-head match up.

Per Quinnipiac:

Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders topping Trump 53 – 39 percent;
Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren ahead of Trump 52 – 40 percent;
California Sen. Kamala Harris beating Trump 51 – 40 percent;
South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg leading with 49 percent to Trump’s 40 percent.

While we still have months and months of the Democratic primary ahead of us, let’s pause a moment to appreciate the small mercy that is a single night of Democratic infighting, rather than spreading the agony over two separate evenings. The end may not be in sight, but at least the journey got a little less awful.

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