The 69 Idiots of 2018: Resistance Libs

69 Idiots
The 69 Idiots of 2018: Resistance Libs
Image:Jim Cooke/GMG (Photos: Getty/YouTube

2018 was a year filled with idiots—including the Russia-obsessed, tweetstorming, FBI-worshiping ghouls who make up the most insufferable part of the so-called #Resistance. Here are some of the worst.

Amy Siskind

Ex-Republican and former Obama-hater Amy Siskind gets very mad when you mention either of these past lives to her. And it’s no wonder! They clash so directly with her new brand as a #Resistance idiot, who now promotes such projects as a Rupi Kaur-esque book of ruminations about how Not Normal these times are. She is an idiot in the purest sense, and I sincerely hope she keeps getting a little too woke on the timeline for many moons to come.

The Anonymous New York Times Op-Ed Writer

No matter who this person is, they’re the insufferable embodiment of the fact that the GOP establishment still has no concept of the outsized role they played in Trump’s rise. The only good part of this whole episode was how mad Trump got about it.

James Comey & Benjamin Wittes

Former FBI Director James Comey and Lawfare editor Benjamin Wittes are best buds, and also idiots. Comey and Wittes both belong to an elite group of firmly centrist white lawyer dudes who have joined the “resistance” because they’re afraid that Trump will do something so bad it’ll upset the status quo that has done them so much good. Comey, for his part, has parlayed his dismissal from the FBI into an extremely self-satisfied memoir with the title A Higher Loyalty without ever really reckoning with the idiotic part he played in the 2016 election, while Wittes has mostly made himself relevant by shooting a toy cannon into things when negative stories about Trump come out in the press. It would be better for the country if both of them gave up on public life and quietly decided to fade into obscurity on a golf course somewhere with the rest of their demographic.

The Krassensteins

The Krassenstein Bros. are quite the pair. These weirdos are pseudo-royalty in #Resistance Land, lambasting everything the president does with the kind of lame aplomb that most libs can only aspire to. While still popular thanks to their ongoing cries for impeachment and not much else, the brothers finally broke this year, when their children’s book got dragged to hell and back for, among other things, featuring an incredibly swole Robert Mueller. They’re idiots in the purest form, and Lord willing, they’ll continue to bless us with more of their lukewarm takes throughout 2019. That said, if the self-impressed Online Boys out there ever needed a beacon of hope, a model off which they too could profit and score their own kids book, they need look no further than @Krassenstein.

Leah McElrath

Leah McElrath started out the year as a relatively run of the mill #resistance twitter account, accumulating over 130,000 followers by tweeting incessantly about the Russia investigation and getting outraged. But she ascended to another level of idiot when she fired off the infamous Beto O’Rourke Cum Tweet, which, here it is:

Markos Moulitsas

Daily Kos is a blog for lib boomers who spend all their time on Facebook, and therefore not worth paying much attention to. But he made this list for tiresome, incorrect takes like this, which is rich coming from a guy who named a blog after himself:

Michael Avenatti

If there’s one thing shiny-headed attorney Michael Avenatti has been great at over the past year, it’s promoting a little known shiny-headed attorney named Michael Avenatti. Whether it’s his bazillionth TV appearance “Basta” tweets, or extremely sketchy PAC, Avenatti has worked tirelessly to position himself as a sort of nega-Trump: An equally insufferable yin to the the president’s abominable yang. Thank God he had the good grace to abandon his laughably self-indulgent 2020 presidential aspirations, so he can go back to shouting at Tucker Carlson on Fox News, and we can go back to caring about literally anything else.

Michael Bloomberg

You know what America really needs at this moment, as the waning dim of capitalism fades over the horizon as we’re all consumed by the dark hellscape of multiple side gigs and climate change? A self-confident billionaire! Mike Bloomberg has continued to play his will-he-or-won’t-he game with America for the past decade, and thankfully, the answer has been won’t, thus far. But Jesus, can we please move past the idea of appointing people that have hoarded all the money—and done extremely lame and predictable things with it—to lead the one institution that should help spread it around? Because if we don’t, Bloomberg’s going to fuck around and buy his way to the White House.

Neera Tanden

A former Clinton White House staffer and current president of the Center for American Progress, perhaps the most influential left-leaning think tank in the country, Tanden is one of the most hopelessly Online resistance liberals in the country. Case in point? Tweets like this:

The Pod Save America bros

Two-thirds Jon and three-thirds smug, the Pod Save America team that’s popular beyond belief and spawned a self-described media empire sort of stepped on their dicks when it was revealed their “token Republican” did dirty tricks for Facebook. That shouldn’t have been a surprise to them, and really, it probably wasn’t; they came up in the morally blank world of D.C. insider politics, where every other dude in a suit is involved in something like that. But these are people for whom being a former D.C. insider is a selling point, not a mark of shame, and who remain committed to the failed milquetoast approach to politics that marred the Obama presidency.

Tom Steyer

A billionaire, making him bad by definition, but also a grifter who spent millions on the facile “Need to Impeach” campaign, which has gotten us precisely nowhere closer to getting Trump impeached, with the ulterior motive of building a giant fundraising list in case he decides to run for president. Rich people have gotta get better hobbies.

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