This Is Why They Won’t Let Joe Biden Go Outside

By Jacob Weindling | October 30, 2024 | 10:25am

Photo via screenshot of NBC 5

Elections Joe Biden

This Is Why They Won’t Let Joe Biden Go Outside

Hey remember Joe Biden? The President of the United States? Apparently he’s still the president! Ever since everyone to the left of Barstool did a coup and pushed the old guy out of a race he was manifestly incapable of running, he’s largely been persona non grata in public in the Democratic Party. Sure, they’ll talk about his “sacrifice” and how “selfless” Biden stepping down for the country was without ever going near the reason behind why it was such a worthy sacrifice, but Biden himself is generally nowhere to be seen. We cannot completely rule out the possibility that they took the handles off the inside of the White House exits and stashed them away in a safe timed to unlock on November 6th. This latest incident where Biden is seemingly stuck in some White House conference room, livestreaming a video call with a Latino voting group, is probably the most high-profile Biden event since he stepped down.

The fascists who held a fascist rally and think we’re a bunch of soft shitlibs for being mad over the Puerto Rico is a “floating pile of garbage” comedian are now soiling their adult diapers because the President of the United States reminded everyone why he is not running for a second term yesterday.

Most Popular

In the context of what Biden is addressing—Trump’s comedic supporter’s “joke” about Puerto Rico—I think it’s clear that he is calling that guy and the other speakers at the fascist rally “garbage,” and he released a statement later clarifying that is what he meant (although Axios‘s Alex Thompson asked the White House why they knew Biden meant “supporter’s” and not “supporters” in their transcript and they declined to say on the record).

Because Joe Biden was already old and then became president, which we have centuries of proof is an office that ages people at no less than ten times the rate of a normal human, he is functionally a thousand years old now. His body does not work as fast as his spirit, and if you are at all familiar with the extremely long and documented public history of Joe Biden, this sounds like a very classic Bidenism that was garbled by his aging mind.

But he’s still Joe Biden. The guy who doesn’t believe the fake news polls saying he’s a political liability. Reports are that he is bitter he has not been asked to do more on the campaign trail, and even his massive ego must know why after this flub. The most disingenuous people in the world have all pulled their fainting couches out of storage and are pretending to be floored by the literal interpretation of Biden’s “Trump supporters are garbage” word salad in a sweaty and desperate attempt to change the narrative.

They’re doing this because they know they’re on their heels about the Puerto Rico comment and the lineup of fascists at Madison Square Garden weirding people out. It was so overt and extreme the media actually called it racist. Trump has even taken a break from tweeting campaign videos, disinformation about the election and attacks on his opponents to claim he is “running a campaign of positive solutions to save America, Kamala Harris is running a campaign of hate.”

The Democrats have a narrative advantage late in October and Republicans know it. Biden’s incoherent attack threw them a bone that right now is not getting much traction, but it’s more than they had a couple days ago. At least now the GOP has something more to say in defense of themselves than “I’m not a Nazi. I’m the opposite of a Nazi.”

I know we are all dismayed by this utterly horrific and superficial campaign season, but just imagine how bad it could have been dealing with this shit every day. There are moments in life where we should count our blessings, and this is one of them.