Weep Not for the Memories: R.I.P. VaJunior


It’s all over. Love isn’t real. Page Six reported on Thursday that after almost 13 years of marriage, Vanessa Trump has filed for divorce from Donald Trump Jr., the bit of dry ankle skin between the khakis and the Sperry’s.

Page Six reports the divorce stemmed from Don Jr.’s travels and “controversial tweets.” Truly a devastating day for the institution of marriage to see yet another beacon of love dimmed—although Vanessa did file for an uncontested divorce, expecting little hostility regarding their five children or their assets.

They got married in 2005, the year when Mariah Carey’s “We Belong Together” and Gwen Stefani’s “Hollaback Girl” were at the top of the charts. Hitch was one of the biggest movies of the year, which could have boded well for the Trump union, but unfortunately 2005 also saw the end of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston’s marriage.

They say (we say) how your wedding day goes can predict how successful the marriage will be. To honor the sudden and tragic death of VaJunior (Donessa?), let’s take a moment to look back and remember the day they first declared their love to each other at—where else—Mar-a-Lago.

We do have a few questions regarding this photo and some of the decisions behind it!

  • Why so many bridesmaids? There are literally 10 bridesmaids!! 10!! That’s way too many!
  • Why choose such a white-looking silver for the bridesmaid dresses?
  • Why does Ivanka’s date appear to be Eric (her brother)?
  • Where is Tiffany?
  • How much more 2005 can this photo get?

Speaking of! Another fun memory to look back on:

And here is a very proud mother of the groom, who is clearly very excited to be sitting six feet away from her ex-husband and new wife of 10 months.

Vanessa filed for divorce just DAYS after Don Jr. was recorded making love to a bowl of ice cream—coincidence???

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