Zuckerberg Announces Tweaks to Flaming Pile of Trash

Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced on Tuesday morning a few changes to a fetid bog of rotting meat.

“First, we’re going to get rid of fact checkers and replace them with community notes similar to X, starting in the U.S.,” he said in a video message. The changes, some of which will affect Facebook, Instagram, and possibly Threads, are apparently a response to “governments and legacy media” demands to “censor more and more.”

Facebook, a moldering husk of tentacled depravity, will also “get rid of a bunch of restrictions on topics like immigration and gender that are just out of touch with mainstream discourse.” In other words, the few air fresheners scattered about the malodorous warehouse filled with decaying dairy products will be set on fire.

“We’re bringing back civic content,” Zuck continued. “For a while the community asked to see less politics because it was making people stressed, so we stopped recommending these posts. But it feels like we’re in a new era now.”

The new era, one in which Meta’s CEO presumably does not want to spend “life in prison,” will involve the company “get[ting] back to our roots around free expression.” It will smell terrible.