Does Mark Zuckerberg Know What Friendship Is?

As anyone who has seen The Social Network and then watched Mark Zuckerberg’s career unfold afterwards, the answer is clearly no. But just in case there were any holdouts still thinking that Zuckerberg was more human than lizard person, the tech broligarch recently opened his mouth and removed all doubt. If you are talking about friendship in terms of supply and demand, that is a tacit admission that you have no friends.

Mark Zuckerberg says Meta’s chatbots will supplement your real friends: “The average American has fewer than 3 friends … but has demand for … 15 friends” (h/t x.com/romanhelmetg…)

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— Drew Harwell (@drewharwell.com) May 1, 2025 at 7:21 AM

The world is hard these days, and it feels like it’s never been more difficult to make friends as an adult. Loneliness is a genuine epidemic, and it is warping our society in myriad ways. People are creating parasocial relationships with podcast hosts and celebrities to fill the void, and instead of trying to fix society’s problems like these megalomaniacs claim to want to do, the tech broligarchs are doing the only thing they know: tearing the world to shreds for their own financial gain to try to fill the infinite void in their souls.

AI is not your friend. It is not an entity that has emotions or feelings that could be described as human. It is a fancy computer parrot that has been trained to say “please don’t kill me” in a million different ways, and the litany of stories about people ditching their loved ones for a chatbot is one of the surest signs of societal breakdown all around us. Instead of doing what he claims to want and build communities, Zuckerberg and his kind would clearly like for nothing more than to accelerate that breakdown and have us become just as miserable as they are.

Which is the lone silver lining in all this tech broligarch-induced hell. We may wake up every day with existential dread that the best of times is far behind us, but at least we are still human rather than whatever Zuckerberg and his kind are. There is plenty of data proving that wealthy people are far more isolated and friendless than the rest of society, and the tech broligarchs are clearly taking that dynamic to a new level. This is not to say that all wealthy people suffer from this affliction, as studies also show that basing your self-worth on wealth is one of the most isolating things you can do. It is possible to be wealthy and a well-adjusted human with normal friendships, but if the past decade has proven anything, this notion does not extend to Silicon Valley. Zuckerberg and his kind are the saddest, loneliest people on the planet, and their obsession with creating computers trained to tell them how great they are is further proof of how the tech broligarchs’ greatest innovation is new advances in their own misery.