I Will Never Talk to Microsoft’s AI PC

I Will Never Talk to Microsoft’s AI PC

I learned today that I have bought my last Windows PC, as Microsoft’s executive vice president and consumer chief marketing officer Yusuf Mehdi said about the future of Windows, “We think we’re on the cusp of the next evolution, where AI happens not just in that chatbot and gets naturally integrated into the hundreds of millions of experiences that people use every day.” I can hear my finance degree screeching in pain on the wall as I write this. I did not suffer through the hell of learning countless Excel and R formulas and strategies to analyze data in grad school only to say the word “Vlookup” to a freaking robot. You can pry my tedious formulas from my cold, dead hands.

“You should be able to talk to your PC, have it understand you, and then be able to have magic happen from that,” says Mehdi. “With your permission, we want people to be able to share with their AI on Windows what they’re doing and what they’re seeing. The PC should be able to act on your behalf.” Fuck you. Go away. Leave me to write my tedious Excel formulas alone in peace.

This the company that changed the world with Word and Excel, and provided an outlet for man to express our individuality and thought processes through the computer in a way that is actually magical, because it gives the user control over their own experience to create a product that reflects them. What most AI products do is encourage you to relinquish control of that effervescence inside you that makes you a living being and not a robot, and it flattens the human experience. The beauty of the age of the internet is that all of our computers look like us, and AI is reversing that dynamic to a degree in its bid to centralize everything under a handful of algorithms.

Yes, you can program your own AI, but it is not the same kind of freedom that sandboxes like Excel and Word provide. I have done it myself in my UFO investigations. This is where I disclose that I am not a total luddite on this subject, and I do think that there is utility to AI. I have told this story before, but my Quantitative Analysis class in grad school was taught by a professor who knew all the kids were using ChatGPT for their homework, and so he taught us to program in R, and encouraged us to use ChatGPT. That way we could see for ourselves that when we asked it to “do the thing we need to do,” it spit out gibberish that didn’t work, but when we plugged in our own code first, it was actually very good at reproducing it and cutting time off a lot of repetitive tasks. This is the kind of stuff that is still in the same spirit as Word and Excel, where humanity is the input and our logic and reason is the output, aided by the magic of computers.

But the way AI is being pushed on us is not that. That is not the ask that these Silicon Valley titans propping up the economy are making of us, they want us to submit to AI. Sam Altman is explicitly saying he wants it to be our sext buddy.

Sam Altman went from “AI will cure cancer” to “ChatGPT porn” in less than a month

[image or embed]

— Drew Harwell (@drewharwell.com) October 14, 2025 at 12:07 PM

“A source that has seen materials related to sales has confirmed that, as of August 2025, Microsoft has around eight million active licensed users of Microsoft 365 Copilot, amounting to a 1.81 percent conversion rate across the 440 million Microsoft 365 subscribers,” reported Ed Zitron last month.

People don’t want this! What the heck is Mehdi talking about? That’s why Microsoft has to give Copilot away to U.K. government employees to try to prove some kind of use case for a kind of demand that just isn’t there. Writing is not speaking, and there are countless studies which reveal that the act of writing something down comes from a deep and somewhat mysterious place in our minds that simply cannot be replicated by saying “computer write James Joyce for me.”

“Creative thinking represents a major evolutionary mechanism that greatly contributed to the rapid advancement of the human species,” writes a 2022 study published in Molecular Psychiatry. Products like what Microsoft wants to force upon us are antithetical to the act of human evolution. The best computer program will never be a better writer than the best human, because the computer only knows what it has been told and can never match the organic nature of human creativity. Sure, there’s probably a good product to be made for browsing the web that does not need to bring carpal tunnel syndrome along with it, but the fundamental humanity behind the products that Microsoft built an empire on is taking a backseat to this lobotomized version of how we interact with the internet.

Now astute clickers may have found that I told on myself in the last four hyperlinks that all have ChatGPT tags attached to them. I do not universally reject AI tools like so many of my lefty brethren do, and I have found that so long as you accompany every request into ChatGPT with “please provide links to primary sources,” it is a way better version of Google search. It’s not even remotely close. I barely use Google search anymore, they killed the product in myriad ways, and their AI summaries stolen from other websites that are destroying the online media industry are often wrong. Utilizing AI as a search engine is a far better use of it at this moment than as a summarization engine, and if Sam Altman pitched ChatGPT as a Google killer instead of your fuck buddy, I’d bet he’d get a lot more people willing to hear him out. There is a market to create AI products that tap into mankind’s natural conversational nature, and it is far simpler to ask ChatGPT “I need links to scientific studies around the science of writing and how these thoughts emerge to put pen to paper and how it’s different from speaking,” than to try to play SEO bingo with Google by guessing the right combination of words to try to find studies I have heard about or read before but could not recall the Google search-approved details of at the moment.

What makes all this AI hype so viscerally offensive to so many is the unbridled joy that these tech companies have in their bid to replace humanity’s creativity with robots (also how clear it is that their financial success, like cypto, is entirely dependent on hype to try to generate revenue that doesn’t match the staggering level of investment). Some may look at this post below as one in jest, but it’s not far off from a world where Amazon wants Alexa to tell bedtime stories to America’s children, replacing a fundamental plank of parenting for centuries.

every single tech idea is like “soon our robots will be capable of playing catch with your kid, freeing you up to spend more time working on your employers’ spreadsheets”

— Andrew Lawrence (@ndrew.bsky.social) October 11, 2025 at 8:07 AM

AI is absolutely an assault on man’s evolutionary path, and many of our tech leaders like Peter Thiel aren’t shy about how they would prefer to replace humans with AI–proving that ultimately, the technology itself is not the problem–but the alleged humans behind it who are trying to shape society around their deranged and profit-driven notion of it that is entirely dependent on generating demand through endless hype around an invasive product that people don’t want.

 
Join the discussion...