Rex Tillerson Desperately Wants People to Feel Bad For Him

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson almost certainly hates his job. Time after time he’s indicated as much. When he reluctantly accepted the position, he emphasized that he “never wanted this job” but accepted it because his wife told him he should.

Rumors have long swirled that he might resign. And who could forget the time he allegedly called President Trump a fucking moron? On Thursday, Tillerson unveiled his new act during a tour of a park in Geneva, Switzerland, where he attended meeting at the United Nations. This act is called: “please feel sorry for me, my existence is miserable.”

Pondering a bronze statue of two figures locked in an embrace, like a ball, if you will, Tillerson joked: “Yeah, some days I feel like I need to do that. Curl up in a ball.” Haha! Good one.

Here’s the problem with Tillerson’s depressed Secretary of State brand. His purposefully crafted image serves two distinct purposes: sympathy, and if for some reason he’s unable to prevent World War III, it will be because Trump couldn’t possibly listen to someone who never wanted to serve his administration in the first place.

Some free advice for Rex, who could resign at any time if he wanted to, try therapy — and enough with the theatrics, no one feels bad for you.