The Texas GOP Can't Stop Pointing Out How Hot Beto O'Rourke Is


Democrat Beto O’Rourke is within one point of Ted Cruz in the Texas Senate race. Understandably, the state Republican Party is afraid that their big gelatinous boy will lose. Less understandably, the party has begun attacking O’Rourke by tweeting pictures of him from when he was younger and even hotter than he is now.

Last night, the Texas GOP sent three tweets about Beauto, each hitting him for supposedly backing out of Friday’s planned debate with Cruz in Dallas. According to the Texas Tribune, the two campaigns couldn’t agree on key aspects of the debate format like how long it should last and who would moderate.

But for some reason, instead of just calling him a coward, the Texas GOP decided to append the attack to various pictures of Beto looking fly as hell.

First attack: Beto O’Rourke has a skateboard. I am really not sure who would choose not to vote for the man based on the fact that he can skate other than old men who really do NOT like the kids skating in their neighborhood. He looks pretty cute here, also. Weird, but perhaps not a huge misstep.

Then, another, an hour later:

I’m assuming the Texas GOP’s thinking here is that Beto looks feminine in his dress, or weird, or whatever, and that this will turn off red-blooded Texans. My thinking is: I would like to go on a date with this Beto and borrow his dress. I can’t imagine many Texans who are a) on Twitter and b) homophobic enough to not vote for a guy because he wore a dress once would have been Beto’s main constituency anyway, but maybe I’m wrong!

Another good point:

And then, the Texas GOP’s final blow:

The attack here is that O’Rourke was arrested for drunk driving back in the ‘90s, which he has described as a “mistake.” But a political party should know that images matter more than words, and what this smoldering image says to me is: Beto……… Hello, how are you, would you like some help combing that magnificent hair. This Beto could ghost me after not even paying for dinner and I’d still be hung up on him for months. This Beto could get it.

No politician deserves a pass because they’re hot or for any other reason. Beto O’Rourke was one of the 78 Democrats who voted to weaken the Volcker rule by handing exclusive authority over its enforcement to the Federal Reserve, and I’d love to have a very stern, passionate, candlelit conversation with him about that. But it is very baffling that the Texas GOP thinks tweeting pictures of O’Rourke looking extremely fucking dope will help Ted Cruz, who looks like this unfortunate dog, pull ahead.

Anyway, Beto should debate Ted, if only so I can watch.

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