Are you there, Sen. Lindsey Graham? It’s me, Rafi.
Senate Republicans—you, and your largely old, largely white pals—keep babbling about the so-called “skinny repeal” of the Affordable Care Act. It’s a process by which certain crucial parts of the ACA would be pulled back without repealing the entire law, thereby throwing the insurance markets into total chaos and also probably killing a lot of sick people.
The thing is, Lindsey, you don’t really like the skinny repeal. Like, at all. Just today you called it a “political cop-out” and a “disaster.”
But then you also said that you would vote for it:
(As you surely know, Lindsey, “conference” is a joint House and Senate group that will supposedly work together to magically transform this “disaster” into something better.)
Well, Lindz, I’ve got some advice. How about instead of being a hypocritical monster, you (now hear me out, here) DON’T vote for it
Whoa.
I know it sounds crazy, believe me. But, you yourself said that, as an actual law, the skinny repeal would be “disaster.” And buddy, your vote brings that disaster one step closer to life.
Now, sure, you’re asking Paul Ryan to absolutely, super-duper, cross his heart and hope to die promise that if the Senate does pass this bill, he’ll make sure it actually gets to conference for some fine-tuning. Because, yup, it’s true the mischievous gremlins over in the U.S. House of Representatives could just go ahead and pass the damn thing as it is, and boy wouldn’t that be embarrassing for everyone! So, hey, save yourself the hassle. Don’t vote for something you’ve said you hate in the first place—Simple!
Look, I bet you wish you could take back whatever shortsighted monkey paw wish you made that brought you to this point. I get it. You’re a victim of your own success! But that doesn’t mean you’ve gotta ride this idiotic train all the way off the track.
Update, 5:55 PM: These fucking people!!!!
GET SPLINTER RIGHT IN YOUR INBOX
The Truth Hurts
