Elon Musk, a Poseur but Certainly Not a Poster
Photo by FILIP SINGER/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock
It measures how far society has fallen that Elon Musk is worthy of a blog for a debuting politics site, but such is life inside of America’s collapsing empire. If that Facebook uncle trapped inside a miniature Stay Puft Marshmallow Man had any kind of sense, he would have taken the free money the government was shoveling into his “car” company and stayed in his lane.
Instead, his dream is to be the world’s greatest reactionary poster, and now we all have to deal with the fallout of the unfunniest motherfucker to ever walk this Earth dominating our digital space simply because he demanded to, and because our system rewards unfathomably rich schmucks like him.
The story has been told several thousand times over, but it deserves to be told several thousand times again (and has by my finance professors as an example of how not to conduct business). Elon bid a joke amount of money ($54.20 per share) that was so much more than Twitter was worth that the Twitter board was pretty much legally required to take it, fiduciary duties and all. Elon tried to back out of the deal with some nonsense about bots, they successfully sued him into sticking to his word and buying the company before a Delaware court made him. He then utilized a tactic called a leveraged buyout—fancy finance-speak for using other people’s money—and borrowed $13 billion from the major banks to close the $44 billion deal.
Musk spent the ensuing months dismantling the only world he’s ever wanted to live in and renaming it X, much to the chagrin of every person with a rudimentary understanding of SEO and what porn sites tend to call themselves. Now he’s convinced his acolytes that his plan all along was to invent free speech, and the entire Twitter ecosystem has been upended in service of the most gullible people alive. A blue check has gone from a mark of credibility to either a mark of a mark or a mark of someone who knows how to game Elon’s lawless Twitter ad revenue sharing system.
The blue checkmark debacle exposed an entire army of Americans who believe they’re legally entitled to everyone thinking that they are cool and awesome. This was one big exercise in projecting existential dread. They paid eight bucks to Elon for the pleasure of saying they paid eight bucks to Elon, and they received the cultural totem of their dreams that they personally devalued through their purchase.
Twitter is currently worth at least less than half of what Musk paid for it, and in his dispute with the Anti-Defamation League, he (likely wrongly) asserted that Twitter was worth just $4 billion. Either way, the point is that Elon over-valued the company to a staggering degree (because he has proven that he has zero understanding of Twitter’s economics or its value proposition to the media ecosystem), then destroyed most of what value remained by chasing advertisers away in favor of emboldening his army of reactionaries.