Doofus Republican Busts Basketball Brigade’s Bus Believing They Were “Illegal Invaders”

We would be remiss at the new Splinter sports section if we did not cover this story as it hits that sweet spot between March Madness timeliness, Republican absurdity and something that exists outside the cynical conservative outrage cycle. It’s actually a really terribly botched attempt to create a cynical conservative outrage cycle, and it’s too good not to highlight for everyone to point and laugh at.

It all began when Michigan House of Representative Republican Matt Maddock, the self-described “Trump Endorsed, Ranked Most Conservative State Representative, Freedom Caucus, Anti-communist, Husband of Michigan’s Most Wanted Republican,” posted the following Q-inspired detective work on Twitter (the tweet is still up as of publishing, but given this shitshow he’s created for himself and the fact that embedding it requires trusting Elon Musk, I’m screenshotting it for posterity).

The tweet reads: Happening right now. Three busses just loaded up with illegal invaders at Detroit Metro. Anyone have any idea where they’re headed with their police escort? 

The “illegal invaders” were actually the University of Gonzaga’s basketball team who are in town to play Purdue University in their Sweet Sixteen game tonight in the NCAA Tournament. This is perhaps the most helpful demonstration yet of how this entirely manufactured “border crisis” happens every election year, spurred on by manipulated or fake stories and videos from places like Fox News and its various acolytes…or pictures of college basketball teams too now, I guess.

That we endure this as a predictable issue every year in service of the eternal racist Republican agenda to win as many us versus them voters as possible is a testament both to the cynicism of our corporate media, and to the fecklessness of the Democratic Party to forcefully combat this wave of falsehoods. In fact, the Dems’ current goal is actually to tack to the right of these falsehoods on “the crisis at the border” and make folks like Matt Maddock look like squishy shitlib.

There is an actual crisis at the border, and it’s been happening for a while due to both parties’ inhumane policies making the most dangerous land route in the world even deadlier.

This GOP fuckwit is providing a bit of levity to what becomes a pretty heavy subject once you actually begin to dissect it. It’s important to not lose sight of the fact that there are people who pay for these horrific lies spread about them in order to enrich and advance evil people’s careers in politics and media. It’s utterly horrifying to watch the Democratic Party participate in this cynical game of using human lives as political pawns as they do their best Trump impression in a desperate gambit to impress cable news anchors.

That said, everything in politics is heavy these days, so it’s important to savor these moments where we can bask in a pure uncorrupted win. This is such a great self-own, I almost happy cry a little every time I think about it.

So congratulations to Matt Maddock. No one knew who you were before and now thanks to the magic of SEO, everyone is going to know you only as just another fraudulent dipshit in the GOP’s endless line of them.