Oprah Is Not Running for President Because Duh

Bad news today for those among us that would love to see the 2020 presidential race devolve into a battle of two ultra-rich celebrities: Oprah confirmed in a new cover story with InStyle magazine that she’s not planning to run for president—which, obviously.

Asked by the interviewer how she feels about the “Oprah 2020” effort, Oprah said (emphasis added):

I actually saw a mug the other day … I thought it was a cute mug. All you need is a mug and some campaign literature and a T-shirt. I’ve always felt very secure and confident with myself in knowing what I could do and what I could not. And so it’s not something that interests me. I don’t have the DNA for it. Gayle—who knows me as well as I know myself practically—has been calling me regularly and texting me things, like a woman in the airport saying, “When’s Oprah going to run?” So Gayle sends me these things, and then she’ll go, “I know, I know, I know! It wouldn’t be good for you—it would be good for everyone else.” I met with someone the other day who said that they would help me with a campaign. That’s not for me.

There you have it: so ends the uproar that began with her soaring speech at the Golden Globes where, when she told all the young girls watching that “a new day is on the horizon,” everyone immediately decided that she should be president.

Even before she spoke out—while various anonymous confidants were claiming that she was actively thinking about a run—there were indications that pinning our hopes on a billionaire celebrity to beat the other billionaire celebrity maybe wasn’t the best idea. For one: she’s Oprah. Why not continue enjoying your life being Oprah than becoming the one person tasked with oh, I don’t know, carrying out the largely unaccountable drone strikes that continue to claim the lives of innocents? Because I mean, come on, just look at her: