Roy Moore's Lawyer Cites Muslim MSNBC Host's 'Diverse' Background to Explain Good Ol' American Pedophilia


Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Trenton Garmon, attorney for accused pedophile and U.S. Senate candidate Roy Moore. On Wednesday, Garmon, who looks conspicuously like a cross between the villain in Who Framed Roger Rabbit and the villain in Raiders of the Lost Ark, appeared on MSNBC to address the wave of sexual misconduct, assault, and attempted rape allegations leveled at his client over the last week.

It did not go well:

A few highlights:

—Garmon saying he thinks MSNBC host Ali Velshi’s “background” (he was born in Kenya and raised Muslim in Toronto) is “awesome” and “really cool,” but seeming to suggest that his client’s alleged crimes could be chalked up to a cultural differences that Velshi simply doesn’t understand.

—Host Stephanie Ruhle replying: “…Ali’s from Canada”

—This face:

—Also, these confused faces:

—Garmon’s bizarre insistence that spending time in other countries is definitely “not a bad thing.”

— Moore’s insisting that he was given permission from the mothers of the teenage girls he’s admitted to dating, which makes it totally fine, according to his lawyer, since Moore would have done it “whether they’re 25, 35, or whether he doesn’t know their age.”

Garmon’s suggestion that Velshi’s Gujarati-Muslim heritage is somehow relevant to discussing Moore’s alleged pedophilia comes less than 24 hours after he tried—and spectacularly failed—to give CNN’s Don Lemon the nickname “Don easy-peezy-lemon-squeezy,” which Lemon made clear he did not want in the slightest.

Seems like Moore’s legal future is in great hands!

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