Bill de Blasio Just Can't Get the 'Normal Human Being' Thing Down


Despite what the polls might lead you to believe, New York City mayor Bill de Blasio is a real person running for the real office of President of the United States.

While there arguably should be further debate around this topic, it is, for now, a settled matter. What is open for debate, however, is a recent, extremely normal and not at all scripted conversation de Blasio had with his son.

On Monday, de Blasio posted three screenshots on social media purporting to show a text message conversation between himself and his son, Dante. In these texts, de Blasio’s son gave him a pep talk ahead of the presidential debates, which the mayor is, somehow, allowed to take part in.

I’m going to move out of the way now and allow you to soak in these 100 percent authentic texts that—again—are proof of a loving relationship between father and son, and not at all part of a coordinated effort by a sleep-deprived campaign aide to coax an iota of humor out of the mayor of New York City.

Texting the term “unprecedented national division” to my father while cracking up about my hilarious dog joke. My friends are also laughing wildly, just off screen.

This, folks, ain’t it.

I’ll allow Father Bill to sum up my remaining feelings:

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