Nobody at the White House Understands the Point of Jared and Ivanka Anymore


As much as the White House might like to publicly tout Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump as playing an integral role in President Trump’s administration, it’s become painfully clear to just about everyone working there that “Javanka” are pretty much just a waste of precious West Wing office space at this point.

White House Chief of Staff John Kelly has reportedly begun actively questioning what, exactly, the duo are doing every day. And even President Trump, who last week insisted that “high-quality” Kushner had been “treated very unfairly” by the media, has taken to wondering aloud if the couple would be better off returning home to New York, according to the Associated Press.

Of course, Trump’s sudden trepidation about Kushner could stem from the fact that he’s increasingly scandal-prone (he’s been both swept up in the Russia probe and accused of major corruption). Or it could simply be that Jared—who’s been tasked with solving Middle East peace, ending the opioid crisis, and reforming the whole of the federal government—hasn’t actually got a damn thing to show for his work. Ivanka, meanwhile, has been accused by Kelly of merely “playing government.”

If Jared and Ivanka do manage to stay in the president’s good graces, it may ultimately not matter much. The damage to their reputations as savvy political operators has been done. The “secret” (that they’re useless, bumbling stooges) is out, and there’s no putting that dumb cat back in its bag.

Jared. Ivanka. Please do us all a favor and just disappear. Your boss wants it. Your dad wants it. The whole world wants it. Please just take your inevitable book deals and go.

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