Angelina Jolie is divorcing Brad Pitt and everyone is FLIPPING OUT
Have you heard???? Angelina Jolie is divorcing Brad Pitt!
Who am I kidding: of COURSE you heard. When TMZ broke the news on Tuesday morning, it felt like the entire planet, and probably a couple of other ones nearby, let out a collective gasp. Brangelina?! REALLY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Yes. Really. TMZ—which, as we all should know by now, has a very long track record of being correct on these issues—reported that Angelina has problems with Brad’s weed and alcohol consumption and, much more scarily, that his “anger problem” and “interactions” with their six children were making things “dangerous.” (People backed the latter claim up.) Also, according to the New York Post, Angelina may have set a private eye on Brad and found him having an affair with Marion Cotillard? Which is all, if it’s true, very bad.
Brad will presumably have some response to these allegations. (Update: he says he is sad and wants privacy.) For now, though, we are left to gape at the fact that such a titanic celebrity duo is no more. This is really happening, people.