Call in sick today and play Job Simulator instead

By Charles Pulliam-Moore | September 28, 2015 | 1:43pm

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According to the American Community Survey, 3.2 million Americans telecommute into work at least once a week. That means that every week, 3.2 million hard-working Americans are depriving themselves of the joy that is being trapped in the sweet, sweet embrace of a fluorescently-lit office space.

Owlchemy Labs wants to put an end to all that.

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Job Simulator, the studio’s latest virtual reality game built for the Oculus platform, pulls in all of your favorite bits of office busywork and slacking off and turns them into an immersive, multi-sensory video game.

In the world of Job Simulator, human manual labor has been rendered obsolete by infinitely more efficient robot workers. Rather than letting the memories of blue collar jobs fade into the ether, Job Simulator’s creators imagine a future in which humans “do work” as play.

“Humans raised in our perfect automated society must not forget their ~~useless~~ ancient ancestors and history,” JoBot, the in-game creator of Job Simulator explains. “This is why JobBot was born. JobBot created Job Simulator to teach humans what it is ‘to job.’ All praise to JobBot, for he is the keeper of human history.”

Not an office worker? Not a problem.

Ever wanted to prepare hot dogs at your local convenience store? Job Simulator!

Do you dream of what it would be like to work as the head chef at a Michelin-rated, gourmet restaurant? Job Simulator!

Wherever your job may be (provided that it’s in an office, a kitchen, or a 7-Eleven,) Job Simulator can take you there all from the comforts of your own home. Owlchemy Labs plans on releasing the game for the Oculus Touch and the HTC Vive later this year.