Career advice for my future, egg-harvested child

My Dear Future Child,

It’s me, your mother. I hope you are enjoying reading this on the insides of your eyelids as directly projected into your mind by AlphaBook while you sleep. I know the last vegetables died out many years ago, but hopefully you are drinking your People (Soylent was never going to take off as a name, was it?) to get all your nutrients (so convenient!).

I’m writing to you here from 2020 where I’m hoping this future career advice will have been helpful. From where you are now you might not remember a time when people had jobs. Perhaps the utopia came, and everyone was paid a universal basic income and you were able to pursue only your passions and dreams and you are living on an island weaving baskets and teaching yourself twelve languages. Though it’s equally likely there are no islands left, so please at least move your basket-weaving concern to higher ground, if there is any available.

If the End of Work did not come, then this is my hope for you: that this advice on potential career paths will be in some way useful, should anything have happened to me by the time you finish high school. As I write this I am leaving on an expedition to the Arctic to measure a new crack in the ice shelf. I can’t imagine that anything will go wrong. However, as all career women of my generation were told to, I’ve had my eggs frozen at great expense. So no matter what happens, just know that you are very loved. How you were conceived and who gave birth to you are really just particulars.

Now, career advice!

Coder/programmer/developer

This is a very bad area to enter right now. Programmers managed to create a program smart enough to program itself, doing away in one fell swoop with millions of jobs. Though the woman who wrote that one program is very rich, and good for her. Wish it could have been you, darling!

Investment banker

This was once a sure-fire way to become exceedingly wealthy, and had you been of a certain kind of ruthless disposition, I might have suggested this to you as a job option. However, the blockchain made all jobs in every area of finance redundant. You can’t argue with math.