Mark Cuban ends his three-minute takedown of Trump with an offer to wash his balls

By Rafi Schwartz  |  July 21, 2016 | 1:43pm
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Entrepreneur, investor, and reality TV judge Marc Cuban has never been shy about his—let’s call it “prickly”—relationship with Donald Trump.

He’s called the GOP nominee “desperate,” questioned his business savvy, and predicted that, were Trump to actually win the White House, he’d be nothing more than “Puppet President,” due to a “lack of depth of knowledge and fear of failing.”

While Donald busies himself this week serving as ringmaster to the biggest political shit-circus in recent memory, Cuban took a few minutes out of his “being extremely rich” schedule to drag the absolute holy hell out of Trump on Stephen Colbert’s The Late Show, for a special installment of the rapid fire, punchline-heavy “Takes the Gloves Off” segment.

“Donald, the gloves are off,” Cuban announced over a jazz-funk riff, while Colbert played mercurial hype-man nearby. “Speaking of gloves, I got you a pair for your birthday. You’re a child’s medium, right?” It seems even billionaires aren’t above insinuating about the size of each other’s dicks.

“Donald! Donald! I’ve got a travel tip for you,” the Shark Tank judge continued. “When you’re doing through customs, and they ask if you’ve got anything to declare, try not to blurt out ‘bankruptcy.'”

“Oooooh, that’s a billionaire bitch-slap!” exclaimed Colbert.

Then Cuban took aim at Donald’s allegedly inflated net worth.

“Donald, the only way you’re worth $10 billion,” Cuban challenged, “is if I paid you nine-and-a-half billion to wash…my…balls!”

The crowd went wild.

In fact, this isn’t Colbert’s first pairing of Trump and testicles for comedic effect. In 2012 the then-Colbert Report host offered to donate $1 million to the super-PAC of Trump’s choosing if “you let me dip my balls in your mouth.”

Balls and billionaires—2016 politics in a nutshell.

 
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