Top 5 Winter Olympic Sports To Put A Condom On

By Fusion Staff  |  February 13, 2014 | 10:21pm
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We’re sure you’ve read all the emotional and gushy Valentine’s Day stories, but it’s time to get physical and talk about sex. After all, it is International Condom Day. Something the athletes in Sochi’s Olympic Village know about all too well (100,000 condoms! Really?!). Even one of the world’s richest icons, Bill Gates, held a build-a-better-condom competition a few months back, granting $100,000 each to 11 inventors who believe they have the latex it takes to create a better feeling condom. In the spirit of the holiday and the Winter Games, we’re counting down our top Olympic sports that warrant a condom. Think of it as Olympic Kama Sutra (even their body suits look like condoms).

The Spread Eagle

Sport: Slopestyle Skiing

Suggested Condom: Trojan Her Pleasure Ecstasy

Reason: Since this position is more about your partner, you can’t go wrong bringing it back to the basics. Like the ski-jump, the ribbed base makes it more pleasurable on the partner’s end. Don’t be selfish and just accept the bronze here.

Head first

Sport: Skeleton

Suggested Condom: LifeStyles Skyn

Reason: The sport of Skeleton can be intimidating and is all about speed. So this is for those in a rush, who don’t need something long-lasting. It’s marketed as soft and stretchier than latex. This is preferred if you’re in a rush- whether you’re running late to work or an Olympic competition.

Using Luge

Sport: Luge

Suggested Condom: LifeStyles X2 lubricated (in and out)

Reason: You’re probably used to associating “luge” with a frat house ice sculpture, but we’re talking about the Olympic sport that is a great workout for the abs. According to Men’s Health, testers of the X2 condom say they “felt a cool, tingly feeling.” Sounds like Sochi weather to us!

All Figured Out

Sport: Couples Figure Skating

Suggested Condom: Durex Performax

Reason: Watching couples intertwine their bodies in passionate emotion will have you running home to your partner. With reduced skin sensitivity, the Performax will allow the man to keep up with his partner. It will do to your sex life what “Blades of Glory” didn’t do for Jon Heder’s career- make it last longer.

Open Format

Sport: Freestyle Skiing

Suggested Condom: Kimono Micro Thin Aqua Lube

Reason: Freestyle skiing is probably the most emancipating but dangerous. You’re allowed to show off all that practicing you’ve been doing but it’s easy to feel yourself a bit too much and get carried away. For protection against STDs, this ultra thin yet durable condom allows for intimacy and flexibility. Unless you’re married.

 
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