Trump Shows Proof of Life, Steals Space Force From Colorado

By Jacob Weindling | September 2, 2025 | 2:58pm

Screenshot via AP's YouTube

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Trump Shows Proof of Life, Steals Space Force From Colorado

Trump planned a big announcement today on his extremely light public schedule which definitely would have convinced Trump that Joe Biden was dead had it been his itinerary, and everyone waited with bated breath. This was different than other bouts of Trumpian hot air, as this was preceded by several days out of the public eye for America’s most camera-hungry man. This naturally led to the eminently reasonable speculation you would expect from bored people online who hate Donald Trump, with Bluesky especially talking itself into a tizzy in the absence of any evidence for anything.

As much as when It Happens has become the term for the natural background radiation in the hateful parts of our skulls, it has not happened, and it did not happen. I saw Donald Trump on TV with my own eyes and ears, and he looked and sounded just like Donald Trump did two, five, ten weeks ago: like total shit. But not any different than he did before his multi-day sojourn outside the public eye. The lefty Qanons are going to have to go back to figuring out how voting machines work to support their conspiracy theory as to why they were rigged the most in places like New York City and New Jersey in 2024.

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Trump was 45 minutes late to his announcement, then spoke for a little less than five minutes and played the hits about crooked Joe Biden and such. The tangible point of the press conference was to announce he is moving Space Command from just outside the town I grew up in, Aurora, Colorado to Huntsville, Alabama. I did always find it curious how Space Force found its way to the part of the Denver metro area that most looks like Kansas, but Colorado is home to the Air Force and a big Lockheed facility and generally is a big military state. We house the eyes and ears of North America under (hopefully) nuke-proof mountains. There are good reasons to have whatever it is that Space Force does here, but also in Alabama too, where a lot of the aerospace industry has relocated to in recent years. The actual thing that’s happening seems to be some sort of bureaucratic dance between defense contractors, but like all Trump productions, the show is the point.

He then tagged in Alabama lawmakers to kiss his ass, before tagging himself back in to feverishly rant about American cities he wants to occupy, looking like the opposite of someone that It may have Happened to. He was even asked about the people speculating on whether It Happened or not.

Trump: “I also did a number of truths. Long truths, and I think pretty poignant truths. No, I was very active over the weekend.”

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— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar.com) September 2, 2025 at 1:08 PM

“One of the big problems I have with Colorado is they went to mail in voting” said president game show host, telling us why he really did this. This is part of his mounting attacks on the 2026 election, and punishing blue states for having the audacity of sovereignty. Colorado’s voting system is widely viewed as a model the rest of the country should adopt in our bid to get everyone to participate in democracy, which makes it a potent enemy of Trump’s. He is invading America, and this latest assault on Colorado is part of it. That’s the headline here,

But because this administration overseen by a doddering old man whose brain has long been leaking out of his ears is the most online administration in American history, The Discourse itself becomes part of the news cycle, further obscuring what is real and what is meme. Trump’s social media sure looked like it was managed by a lot of people seeing the discussion around whether the person behind it was alive or not. As someone who has long been familiar with Trump’s online vernacular and behavior for my job, I can confirm that this one’s a little weird.

There’s no evidence that It is about to Happen, and Trump looks and sounds the same as he did not too long ago. The multi-day public absence of our oldest inducted and indicted president could easily be explained by a common medical procedure people his age get, evidence of which was not visible during the press conference. The only thing that the blueanon crew has to hold on to here is how tepid it was before Trump tagged in various Alabama lawmakers thanking him for being so wise and brilliant, but then he came back and went full unhinged lunatic–demonstrating how so long as you exude energy, the press won’t think your brain is melting even while the rest of America braces themselves for It.