Any Sane Country Would Launch RFK Jr. Into the Sun

By Jacob Weindling | August 28, 2025 | 12:05pm

Photo by Office of Speaker Mike Johnson, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

Healthcare RFK Jr.

Any Sane Country Would Launch RFK Jr. Into the Sun

Dave Levitan asked perhaps the best and most pertinent question of the Trump 2.0 administration for us here at Splinter, which cabinet member will kill the most people? I’m putting all my money on the manchild dismantling the greatest health and science infrastructure mankind has ever built. Dave’s nuclear-grade hatred for RFK Jr. is one of my favorite things on the internet (subscribe to his newsletter Gravity Is Gone), and in the wake of Google’s AI summaries taking an irreplaceable chunk out of Splinter, Fortune, and countless other websites people like to read on the internet, I will have to pick up the Splinter banner of rhetorically bombarding this sad sack of brain-wormed shit. I hope RFK Jr. convinces himself that the newest way to stay naturally healthy is to jab a porcupine quill into his retina.

The latest target of RFK’s crusade against the sum total of human evolution is the Centers for Disease Control. “It’s really bad now but things can always get worse,” said Rolling Stone’s source after The Washington Post reported that Director of the CDC Susan Monarez had been ousted, seemingly confirmed by Health and Human Services on the MechaHitler site (but as I detailed yesterday with Fed Governor Lisa Cook, just because these schmucks say they did something, that doesn’t mean they can do it). Three top career CDC officials resigned from the agency in the hours after, as a pushback within the CDC emerged to try to reverse RFK Jr.’s newest assault on vaccines. “For the good of the nation and the world, the science at CDC should never be censored or subject to political pauses or interpretations,” wrote Dr. Deb Houry, Deputy Director for Program and Science/Chief Medical Officer in her resignation letter. “Vaccines save lives—this is an indisputable, well-established, scientific fact.”

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Ground-zero in this war for the soul of America is at RFK’s HHS. As much as Trump’s 19th century trade war drives down his polls, or the military and ICE occupation of American cities embodies the threat to our lives this regime presents, this fight for who we are is over the fundamental nature of reality. This is a cult of personality. MAGA believes in a world that doesn’t exist and has no evidentiary basis. It actively rejects scientific data in every realm, with health and wellness being the starkest example.

For the anti-vaxers, how many people do you know in your life with polio? In the past, that was a reasonable question to ask, now it’s not. In 1952, there were 57,628 cases in America, and according to the World Health Organization “Cases due to wild poliovirus have decreased by over 99 percent since 1988.” I wonder why! It must be because people like RFK Jr. rub bear shit on their faces every day or something.

Vaccines work, this is indisputable and only the most smoothbrained ape could believe otherwise in the face of the gargantuan pile of evidence laid across the world over the last century. The problem at the heart of this break with reality in the MAHA portion of the party is that they are correct that pharmaceutical companies are greedy, this is also indisputable. Both can be true, and being able to hold what may feel like conflicting thoughts in your head is a hallmark of critical thinking, but sadly, those who focus solely on the greed angle let RFK Jr.’s brain worm destroy their ability to participate in modern society.

When we all get immunized against a disease, that disease recedes from society. This is the story of objective reality in the 20th century, but there is a whole group of folks who have opted out of any kind of shared space with the aggregate of humanity’s progress, endangering the rest of us. RFK Jr. and his ilk are functionally children, inventing a comforting fantasy land to insulate them from the complexity and difficulty of the real world. It’s much easier to stay ensconced in a safe space that tells you you’re always right all the time, and when a bunch of eight-year-olds do it together, it’s adorable. When they do it together while utilizing the very real levers of the most powerful government in human history, it’s a recipe for mass death and suffering.

Any civilized society would launch RFK Jr. into the sun. It would force him to live in the sewage-filled rivers and lakes he willingly swims in. It would force the life RFK Jr. is forcing on the rest of America on him, but stripped of his immense familial wealth that awarded him an unearned life of luxury most of us will ever know. The most certain sign we live in some circle of hell is that this is the one fucking Kennedy who didn’t tragically die early. The literal brain-wormed one.

But even down in these depths, there are still glimmers of hope. Susan Monarez is showing real leadership and is providing an example to the rest of capitulating America that the best way to fight back against bullies is to actually fight back. She’s refusing to resign, and she is dragging the Trump administration into a legal fight instead of giving them what they want and going away quietly so they can replace her with some antivax quack. She was just confirmed by the Senate last month. This is nuts.

Abbe Lowell and I represent CDC Director #SusanMonarez. Contrary to govt statements, Dr. Monarez has neither resigned nor yet been fired. She will not resign. We have issued the following statement:

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— Mark Zaid, Esq (@markzaidesq.bsky.social) August 27, 2025 at 5:15 PM

This regime will inevitably collapse in on itself, whether that’s in a year or ten years, it will happen. This is wholly unsustainable, and there is nowhere near as much public support for this depraved agenda as the mainstream media and elite American society clearly believe. The GOP does not do well when dear leader is not on the ballot, just ask his Vice President who won a very underwhelming Ohio Senate victory in 2022. Everyone in Trump’s orbit has proven to be an untrustworthy person who will stab anyone in the back the moment a power vacuum forms and they want to fill it. When Trump and father time eventually create the largest power vacuum in modern Republican Party history, if American democracy is to be built out of the rubble of this era, we must prosecute people for the crimes they committed against humanity, starting with this old, weathered leather bag of lies and brain worms and his entire circle of power.