Here are 10 better things Jeb Bush could have done with the $130 million he blew running for president

Jeb Bush and his supporters spent $130 million dollars to not win the presidency. He outspent every other candidate in advertising. He spent more on valet parking in eight months than a minimum wage worker earns in a year. Some of that money—untold sums, really—went to purchasing the small turtles he kept in his pocket. And for what? To lose an election and get made fun of like basically every single day.

This was a waste, imo. He should have done much better things/bought much better stuff with all of this money. Here are some ideas, from me, about what to do with a lot of money.* (Also: my fee as a financial advisor is $130 million.)

Buy this very nice island 86 times.

Jeb, you should have bought a nice island. It was a real bad move not to buy an island. Pretty Joe Island, as it’s called on this website that helps people interested in buying islands buy islands, costs $1,495,000. It features, among other attributes, “ancient exposed reef” and “native vegetation such as black mangroves, sea grapes, and pitch apples, which attract a variety of migrating birds.” Dolphins swim in the turquoise waters surrounding the island. You could have bought 86 of them.

Replace the cuts to Oklahoma’s education budget that may force some public school districts to close.

Oklahoma is in the midst of a budget crisis, Jeb. Last month, the State Board of Education voted unanimously to approve $46.7 million in cuts, reducing the funding that goes to schools by $25 million. As a result, some public school districts across the state may have to close their doors to students. Jeb, you could have closed the school-specific hole five times over or taken care of the whole thing like three times. You could have done this in a lot of states! Instead, you spent like $2,800 for every vote you got in Iowa and spent $4,000 on food from places like Pizza Ranch.

Purchase this fancy apartment overlooking Central Park and then spend $30 million on some sweet as hell groceries.

Jeb, this 11,000-square-foot apartment overlooks Central Park, features six bedrooms, and, for an extra touch of elegance, offers marble baths in each of its seven bathrooms. What an apartment! At $100 million, you would have still had enough left over to spend $30 million on groceries, which means you could just go to the Whole Foods at Columbus Circle, grab a cart, and start throwing things in at random, Supermarket Sweep-style. You could have done this for literally the rest of your life and you still would have had a lot left over. Smh.

Put a pool in your backyard that has five waterfalls.