Sequined booty shorts, a dog, and so many keys: The best of Craigslist's post-Pride lost and found

By Fusion Staff | June 29, 2015 | 4:10pm

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Pride weekend may be over, but the glitter in your sheets will last forever. And by the looks of Craigslist‘s nationwide lost & found boards (easily the 137th or 138th most helpful place to find lost items on the Internet), glitter isn’t the only thing that the LGBTQ-centric celebration left in its wake. Check out some of the more notable postings.

1. “If I were the owner I’d be missing them,” someone from Minneapolis writes about these sequined booty shorts.

Where did they find these shorts? How did they get separated from their original owner? I just have so many follow-up questions.

2. There’s a possible reward in it for whomever finds this red Fossil wristlet in San Francisco.

All we know is that it’s in a bathroom somewhere in the Castro or Upper Market.

GO.

3. While you’re toilet-hunting, pop by Minneapolis’ Loring Park.

There’s a Samsung Galaxy S4 hidden in a porta-potty somewhere around there.

4. This person lost their keys.

“Queer People Losing Their Keys at Pride: A Play in 57 Acts”

5. This person lost their keys.

We’re bad at keys. Got it.

6. And this person lost their keys.

Is “lost keys” slang for some new designer drug? Am I missing something here? What is our aversion to keys????

7. On a downer note, someone’s dog slipped through their leash during the fireworks in San Francisco.

If it makes you feel any better, there was another pup-related lost and found that’s since been deleted. That dog might have been found, and maybe this one will, too?

8. Aaaaaand let’s close with a “lost & found” from Yik Yak.

SIGNAL BOOST!!!!

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.