Ted Cruz threatens ‘you suck!’ heckler with a good ol’ fashioned spanking

By Rafi Schwartz  |  May 2, 2016 | 5:37pm
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GOP presidential hopeful Ted Cruz is probably having what could charitably be called a “case of the Mondays.” With his political fate essentially bound to Indiana’s make-or-break primary election this Tuesday, Cruz started the week 15 points behind Republican frontrunner Donald Trump in that state, and what’s more, people are shouting mean things at him while he’s trying to talk!

During a campaign rally in the Hoosier state over the weekend, Cruz was forced to respond to an angry protester—reportedly a child—shouting at him from the audience.

“Apparently there’s a young man who’s having some problems,” Cruz informed the crowd. The heckler’s response?

“You suck!”

It’s at this point Cruz seems to abandon his prepared speech altogether, opting instead to lecture the protester, and the crowd, first on the importance of respect and then—presumably in an effort to show how much he does not, in fact, suck—on the virtue of striking a child.

“One of the things that hopefully someone has told you, is that children should actually speak with respect,” Cruz intoned, to the cheers of the crowd. “Imagine what a different world it would be if someone told Donald Trump that years ago.”

“You know,” Cruz continued to the sounds of a cheering audience, “in my household, when a child behaves that way, they get a spanking.”

This is not, it turns out, the first time Cruz has brought up corporal punishment on the campaign trail. Earlier this year he suggested that the voting public would administer an electoral “spanking” to Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton.

Given the seemingly unstoppable momentum of his Republican rival, perhaps Cruz should consider modifying his campaign slogan to something a little more Trump-y. Perhaps something like:

Ted Cruz: Make America Spank Again!

 
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