Let's Name Elizabeth Warren's New Puppy

By Emma Roller | July 2, 2018 | 5:56pm

Congress

Senator Elizabeth Warren got a new puppy. He looks like a very good boy.

In a tweet on Monday, Warren said the Golden Retriever pup is still unnamed, so let’s give her some help, shall we?

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Here are some puppy name ideas from Splinter staffers, presented free of charge:

– Elizabeth II

– Bruce Warren (Dog, Not Husband)

– Mitch McConnell

– CFPB (Consumer Financial Puppy Bureau)

– The Regulator

– Warren G (a famous regulator)

– BDE (Boy Dog of Elizabeth)

– BDE (Baby Dog Energy)

– Tom (just a cute dog name IMO)

– Roscoe

– Randy Savage (the Dog)

– Clarence

– Crimson

– Crimben

– Crimby

– CFPB (Cute Friggin’ Puppy Bro)

– Iowa Straw Poll Winner

– Bardo

– Harvey (short for Harvard, where Warren taught—you know what, never mind)

– Fenway

– Chowder

– Kid (pronounced “Kehd”)

– “It’s a Baby Fuckin’ Wheel, Man!!!”

– Goofus and/or Gallant

– Scrappy

– Cowpoke

– Pokey

– Jamboree

– Snuffles

– Gigglesnuff

– Hugo Chavez (the Dog)

– Percy (short for Persistence)

– Medicare For All, the Dog

– Willie

– Rascal

– Abolish ICE, the Dog

Is this puppy a delightful escape for Warren from the daily hell we all must bear witness to, as she alluded to in her tweet? Is the pup part of a cynical popularity play before Warren ramps up a possible 2020 presidential campaign? A little of both?

Either way, we can all help Elizabeth Warren name her family’s new puppy. Give it a shot in the comments.