A cis woman was mistaken for trans and harassed in a bathroom. Her response is perfect.

By Fusion Staff  |  May 17, 2016 | 1:43pm
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“I can’t believe it. I honestly can’t believe it. I was a victim of transphobia today, as a cisgender female.”

Aimee Toms, a Connecticut woman wearing her chestnut hair in a pixie cut, glasses and a look of livid frustration, is speaking into the camera.

In a video she posted to Facebook on Friday, 22-year-old Toms described a disturbing incident. While wearing a baseball cap, she was insulted by a fellow customer in a women’s restroom in a Danbury Walmart. “She said, ‘You are not supposed to be here. You need to leave.’… so I said, ‘Yes I do.’ And then she flipped me off, and she’s like, ‘You’re disgusting!’ and she storms out.”

Toms realized that her short ‘do and baseball hat may have lead the woman to believe that Toms was a transgender woman, or a man pretending to be a transgender woman. There’s no law against trans individuals using the bathroom of their choice in Connecticut.

For Toms, the incident was an important moment. Toms said that she had been an advocate for trans rights before the experience, but that what happened to her made an impact.

“After today, and after experiencing first-hand the discrimination that they face, I cannot fathom how much transgender people must face in a lifetime. I mean, can you imagine, every day, and having people tell you that you should not be who you are?”


In an epic Facebook rant, Toms perfectly articulates the reasons some of us find anti-trans bathroom laws so appalling. It’s worth watching in full, but here are some of our favorite points:

Trans people have been using public restrooms before 2016, duh

“I don’t know if many of you know this, but you’ve probably used a bathroom with somebody who is transgender before.”

Laws don’t prevent bad men from being bad men

“If a guy was going to commit a crime in a woman’s bathroom, this law wasn’t going to invite them to do it. They’re going to do it anyways. This law was not in place a year ago when I almost got raped in a bathroom because a man followed me into the women’s room.”

Many places are dangerous to trans individuals

“Do you understand how many crimes have been committed against transgender people in bathrooms? Do you know how many transgender people have been assaulted and killed because of who they are? And you honestly have the audacity to say that you’re uncomfortable using the bathroom with them? Are you fucking kidding me?”

If you’re in favor of anti-trans laws, you’ll be on the wrong side of history

“A lot of older people may not ‘understand’ this issue. But let’s be real, this same thing happened in the 1960s when black people wanted to use the same bathrooms as white people… history repeats itself.”

This isn’t about you, haters

“I don’t care if you think it’s unnatural. I don’t care if you think it’s a mental issue, which it isn’t. I don’t care if it makes you uncomfortable. These people are who they are and they’re not going to change themselves to make you comfortable.”

This is not a good look for America

“People hate what they don’t understand, and they hate what they don’t know. And it creates a cycle of disgusting bigotry that reflects back on our nation and makes us look ridiculous.”

May your ice cream be ruined forever

“If you’re going to treat me differently because you think I’m a lesser person, then I hope you fall in a pit and every ice cream cone you ever get for the rest of your life drops into the dirt and they don’t have the rest of your flavor. I hope every pie you ever get in your life turns upside down and splatters on the floor. I hope every piece of toast you ever make lands butter side down. I hope every dog you ever have hates you and likes the rest of your family more. I hope every person that you ever come in contact with treats you the same way that you treat me, or that you treat any transgender person.”

Damn.

Danielle Wiener-Bronner is a news reporter.

 
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