Fox News Is Unbelievably Horny for Bomb Footage

By Rafi Schwartz  |  April 14, 2017 | 2:55pm
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This week, the United States military dropped its largest non-nuclear bomb—a GBU 43/B “Massive Ordnance Air Blast” (jingoistically referred to as the “Mother of All Bombs”)—on what it claims to be a group of ISIS fighters in Afghanistan.

On Thursday, video of the explosion—estimated to have a jaw-dropping one-mile-wide blast radius—was released to the public, and by Friday morning, the panelists on Fox & Friends were so overjoyed by the bomb footage that they couldn’t contain themselves.

After setting the mood with the Bush-era anthem “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue” by country star Toby Keith (“we’ll put a boot in your ass /It’s the American way”) host Ainsley Earhardt gushed that while “the video is in black and white, that is what freedom looks like. That’s the red white and blue.”

Guest Geraldo Rivera, eager to show his war-boner was just as large as everyone else’s, chimed in, exclaiming that video of “bombs dropping on bad guys” is one of his “favorite things.”

Easy guys! NSFW!

 
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