How to Choose a Political Candidate to Support

Presidential primary season is almost here. So many people could be running! How do you choose where to throw your support? We can make the process very simple for you.

Sure, it’s easy picking Democrats vs. Republicans. But in the primaries everyone gets all twisted up. Who has the best chance? Who has the broadest appeal? Will Southerners like them? Will Midwesterners like them? Will they play well in the cities? In the country? Can they pull swing voters? Who is most electable?

It can be overwhelming, all the calculations. This time around, try our simple system instead.

HOW TO DECIDE WHO TO SUPPORT IN AN ELECTION

1) Get a list of all the candidates. Read the news about them. Go online and research their policy positions. Familiarize yourself with them and the policies they advocate.

2) Support the candidate you agree with the most.

This easy two-step process does NOT require you to pretend that you are Nate Silver; it does not require you to attempt to predict the voting preferences of people other than you; it does not require you to engage in the futile practice of trying to imagine what and who will “play well” where and with whom. It only requires you to understand the issues we face, think about what we should do about them, and vote for the person who will do those things.

If everyone used this very simple method, elections would be contests of ideas rather than contests of “I’d like to have a beer with him” and “Bernie seems great but he could never win” and “Of course we should have a woman president one day but I don’t think the rest of America is ready yet.” If you are worried about whether or not a certain candidate will conform to the fickle and unpredictable tastes of varying demographics around the country, or that certain political pundits say that certain political candidates cannot appeal to certain political constituencies, and you start to question whether you should do something so simplistic as to just vote who you agree with, rather than trying to calculate each candidate’s odds and base your vote upon probabilities of winning, remember this:

DONALD FUCKING TRUMP WON THE LAST PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION. THE IDIOT CLOWN FROM ‘THE APPRENTICE.’ THE NEW YORK GUY WITH A GOLD TOILET WAS SUPPORTED BY 68% OF WEST VIRGINIANS. NOBODY THOUGHT HE WOULD WIN. NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING.

Vote for the person you agree with. Thank you.