20 Dad Bod subtypes we should have been talking about weeks ago

By Fusion Staff  |  June 2, 2015 | 3:02pm
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“Dad Bod” — the internet phenomenon that just won’t quit — got us thinking: One squishy Dad Bod archetype does not fit all. Do you have to be a parent to possess a Dad Bod? Are there niches of Dad Bods? And how do we bring those bods’ struggles to light?

We are living through a golden age of Dad Bods. So much variety. And all are worth noting in hopes of promoting inclusivity in our discussions of Dad Bod.

Without further ado, we give you the ultimate Dad Bodycount:

  • StepdadBod
  • Baby DaddyBod
  • Dadrock DadBod
  • Cool DadBod
  • Deadbeat DadBod
  • Father Figure (priests)
  • Mase DadBod (“Welcome back” your old pre-Dad Bod body)
  • DadBod Longlegs
  • Sugar DaddyBod
  • Puff DadBod
  • Big Poppa-Bod
  • GranddadBod
  • Soledadbod O’Brien
  • LadBod
  • ChadBod
  • GLADbod (’cause your body’s trash)
  • DadBob Saget
  • Mrs. DoubtBod
  • Daddity KaneBod
  • Cherry Poppin’ DadBods (this made us uncomfortable, too)

…Or we could just keep celebrating mom bods…

Akilah Hughes is a comedian, YouTuber, and staff writer and producer for Fusion’s culture section. You can almost always find her waxing poetic about memes and using too many emojis.

Isha Aran is a staff reporter for Fusion’s Sex & Life section and is worth her weight in salt. Really, she is. She’s salty as all hell.

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.

 
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