I CAN'T HANDLE THIS STORY ABOUT A RUSSIAN JOURNALIST FAKING HIS OWN DEATH A;SDIFJS;LDFKJS;LKDJFS;LDKFJ;LAKSJDF;LAKSJDF
In what will hopefully be the wildest story of the week, supposedly murdered Russian journalist Arkady Babchenko appeared at a press conference on Wednesday to shock the world with the news that that he is actually extremely alive. What!!!!!!????!??!!!!!????!!!!!!!
Reporters expecting a simple update on the investigation into his killing were instead told that Babchenko had faked his own death as part of a state-sponsored sting operation to catch a group of suspected assassins who’d taken out a contract on his life. Not even his family—including a wife and six children—knew he was still alive, which is pretty fucking cold!!!!!!!!!!
Babchenko, who I stress remains totally un-murdered!!!!, had initially been reported dead on Tuesday after being found by his wife “shot” multiple times in the back outside his Kiev apartment. He supposedly “died” in an ambulance en route to the hospital. Except he didn’t, because he was alive, because he was faking it!!!!!
At the time, local police claimed that Babchenko, a frequent critic of Russian President Vladimir Putin, had been targeted for death because of his “professional work and civil position.” (Before it was known that he was not dead, Russia denied that it was involved in any way in his “murder.”) They even released a sketch of the suspected assassin: