Further proof 'Netflix and chill' involves neither 'Netflixing' nor 'chilling'

By Isha Aran  |  September 19, 2015 | 12:02am
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Let’s be honest—no one hears the phrase “Netflix and chill” and believes they’re heading over to a “friend’s” house for a relaxing night of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. As Fusion’s own Kevin Roose explained, the phrase “Netflix and chill” has officially become a code—nay, a synonym—for sex. It’s only a matter of time before the Oxford English Dictionary proclaims “Netflix and chill” the phrase of the year.

Further proof of this came on Friday, when Spotify released its “Netflix and chill” playlist: Twenty songs that, you guessed it, are totally great for chatting with gal pals, sippin’ on frozen margaritas, and really getting to know people. JK! They’re sex songs.

Naturally, the number one song on the list is straight out of Magic Mike—Ginuwine’s “Pony,” which eloquently compares a man’s penis to a horse. (“If you’re horny, Let’s do it. Ride it, my pony.”) According to a Spotify spokesperson, the songs on the list represent the most popular tracks on users’ personal “Netflix and chill” playlists.

There’s also a song on the list called Knockin’ Da’ Boots from the R&B group H-Town, which opens with, “We doin’ this one for all the ladies … you know what I’m sayin’ ’cause we will be knockin’ boots.” So much for subtlety. (Remember subtlety?) There’s “Wet Dreamz” by J. Cole, too.

Of course, the list wouldn’t be complete without a good chunk of the 50 Shades of Grey soundtrack. There are four—count ’em, four—songs from the smash-hit smutfest, two of which belong to The Weeknd, because we all know his voice is aural sex.

Basically, Spotify is confirming what we all already know — that “Netflix and chill” involves absolutely no “Netflixing” or “chilling” (but a lot of soft R&B sounds, apparently). That’s why a list full of sex songs is a much better representation of what’s really happening: Scrabble. Kidding again. It’s sex, you guys. Sex is happening.

Still not convinced? Consider this: Who would ever attempt to actually watch Netflix while playing Spotify’s sex list “Netflix and chill” list? Ray J’s One Wish doesn’t exactly pair well with the Parks and Rec opening credits.

Alas, “Netflix and chill”—like “Come in for a night cap” or “Wanna see my van?”—has become so transparent that it’s impossible to say it coyly. It has permeated the zeitgeist in such a way that it will probably soon become irrelevant and be replaced by the next code activity for sex (“Oculus Rift and nachos”).

In case you read this whole piece just to learn what’s on the playlist, you can check out Spotify’s full “Netflix and Chill” list here. Or just Google “songs about sex.”

 
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