The Inevitable Kristen Stewart Death Threats Begin

Oy. So, Kristen Stewart was caught cheating on Robert Pattinson, which even under normal circumstances is embarrassing for everyone involved. Of course, these are not normal circumstances because Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson (a.k.a. Robsten) are both incredibly famous. Furthermore, they are incredibly famous because they played the onscreen versions of Bella and Edward in the Twilight Saga, a couple who, whether we like it or not, has become iconic thanks to the relentless fandom of the series’ enthusiasts. Worse still (we have to go deeper), the majority of Robsten’s fans are quite young and have probably never been in serious relationships before. This (I will cite my teen devotion to Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe as scientific evidence here) usually results in a lot of projection and over-protectiveness of one or both halves of the couple.

In this case, the tweens have chosen Rob. He was the one who was cheated on and, besides, it’s Team Edward that’s printed across the asses of their underwear and not Team Bella. They are angry, they are dismayed, they are betrayed and, as is their tween way, they have taken to Twitter to say some seriously stupid shit.

Some used their Twitter accounts to issue explicit death threats.

Others didn’t want the blood on their own hands, but didn’t mind the idea of blood on their consciences. They simply planted the idea that Kristen, who is only 22 years old and made a mistake that she’s no doubt already paying for, should commit suicide. How Shakespearean of them.

This person inexplicably thought RPatz should be the one to off himself.

She is nuts.

She is angry.

She is taking it personally.

She doesn’t know what to do.

This girl knows that there’s no point.

Some are in denial.

Others have accepted the truth and now push for forgiveness and reconciliation.

He had this to add.

Let’s end on a positive note. Kristen Stewart has beautiful hair.