Who'll Stop the Zombie Apocalypse? Buzzards and Bears, Actually

Are you ready for the zombie apocalypse? The rest of the animal kingdom is.

According to one researcher, if undead flesh-eaters try to take over the planet, they’ll have a lot more to fear from carcass-loving wild beasts than terrified humans.

From crows and buzzards to big cats, buffaloes, gators, and grizzly bears — zombies would quickly find themselves at the bottom of the food chain, National Wildlife Federation naturalist David Mizejewski recently wrote on the pop-science blog Boing Boing.

It’s an amazing oversight in the zombie genre, he says, but it’s a big reason you shouldn’t worry about your fate when the walking undead hit the streets.

“Relax,” Mizejewski writes. “Next time you’re lying in bed, unable to fall asleep thanks to the vague anxiety of half-rotten corpses munching on you in the dark, remember this: if there was ever a zombie uprising, wildlife would kick its ass.”

Saving us from the undead. Just another reason to preserve the environment and make nice with animals. If, you know, the whole saving-the-planet-from-ecological-disaster thing wasn’t already enough for you.

Adam Weinstein was Fusion’s senior editor in charge of digital investigations. He has also worked for Gawker, Mother Jones, and the Wall Street Journal.