Adele’s new video: Proof she is a witch

By Dodai Stewart  |  October 23, 2015 | 2:14pm
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“Hello,” the new video from Adele, is beautifully shot, and she sounds great. But look closely and you’ll see that the clip is cinematic proof that Adele is a powerful sorceress. For instance:

1. These bugs were alive until Adele rolled up in her necromancer mobile. She clearly draws her strength from nature, which means they had to die so that she could make a phone call.

2. She is using a flip phone. Witches have no need for your faddish, constantly-in-need-of updates operating systems. Her operating system is the UNIVERSE. And a landline.

3. Three rings in her ear. Hecate is the goddess of the moon, who comes in three forms. The triple deity is connected to supernatural power. Third time’s a charm. Three witches in Macbeth. Thrice the brinded cat hath mew’d! IT ALL MAKES SENSE.

4. She lives in the kind of haunted, creepy house witches live in. A witch house.

5. THIS EYELINER IS TOO GOOD! WITCHCRAFT!

6. She has he ability to control the weather and make it rain on her ex.

7. Her man is definitely under a spell or thrall, otherwise why would he be attempting to make spaghetti in a skillet?

8. A phonebooth with a working telephone in the middle of the woods is obviously a sinister manifestation of her Dark Arts.

9. See how she conjures and commands the forces of nature?
Pure magick.
Pretty sure she invoked the spirit like they did in The Craft.

BONUS: Is this not the piercing gaze of a woman trying to lure you into her deadly gingerbread cottage???

“You used to call me on your witch phone.”

 
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