I'm one of the lucky souls who got to watch House of Cards S3E1 (No Spoilers)

By Fusion Staff | February 12, 2015 | 1:40pm

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At approximately 4:38pm yesterday, I received word that Christmas came 10 months early and that the first 10 episodes of House of Cards Season 3 would be available to stream on Netflix, more than two weeks before it was set to debut. I reacted the way any reasonable human should:

I hit CAPS LOCK and told every single person I knew.

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I called, I texted, I updated Facebook, I posted all over Twitter. So did other folks. Word was spreading, fast. And soon everyone was talking about it. It started trending! Little ole me — ahead of the social media storm.

What did we all do to deserve being this #blessed?

Not only had I gotten a timely scoop, apparently I was one of the few people who decided to actually try to view it before it was unceremoniously pulled only 7 minutes later.

Luckily for me, I never refreshed or clicked away. I simply watched, screen-grabbed, and boasted all over my own Twitter account.

Not to be hella braggy, but the undeniable schadenfreude I experienced was out of control. It wasn’t enough that I got to see it early: Other people missed the boat and now had the arduous task of avoiding spoilers for the next two weeks. Obviously some people were wary — downright anxious — about me divulging too much:

Unadulterated bliss in the form of a strong wifi connection and an exclusive stream of an incredible series. That’s what it was.

With no one with whom to share this victory (because let’s face it, it felt pretty damn victorious), I squealed alone in my apartment, and predicted (correctly and incorrectly) what would happen in the highly-anticipated episode. I’m assuming this is what it must feel like winning the lottery — but like, only winning $100 because at least a few thousand other people also won. Was I having the best day of my life?

Here are the verified spoiler free screen-grabs to tide you over until the official season 3 release on 2/27:

Benign enough — just a room filled with people wearing suits and Frank Underwood, also in a suit.

A hand on a faucet. *Someone has running water in their house.*

Is it the price of gas? Is it how much Frank still owes in student loans? Who knows? It’s just a number.

Quite the non-partisan statement in a non-partisan screen grab.

Lots of bokeh and just some unassuming hands. You still have any context to look forward to…

Claire looks calm and collected, as per usual. Nothing to see here.

But if you do want a spoiler. Click here. **BUT BE WARNED — YOU CANNOT UNSEE IT ONCE YOU DO**

As the episode ended, I waited with bated breath for the next episode to start automatically.

It did not.

I was rejected. Quickly demoted back to commoner status.

My final taste of glory was the ability to write about my thrilling experience here. My fall from grace was swift and painful, but I truly believe I will always remember that day.

Images via Netflix.

Akilah Hughes is a comedian, YouTuber, and staff writer and producer for Fusion’s culture section. You can almost always find her waxing poetic about memes and using too many emojis.